chapter 5, 46 lbs, knit-knit-knit!

Chapter five has eluded me, but I think I'm starting to get back into it. I had a major break through on Thursday and need to sit with it and really think for a good span of time.

I feel the pressure of my dissertation, applying for jobs, and, yes, holiday knitting coming down on me.

With finishing my dissertation comes the imminent realization that I will be leaving my home. I've lived here for 25 years. I lived abroad once, but I knew I was coming home. This is different. This time is final. I won't be coming home. That is difficult.

Applying for jobs is no fun. I have a hard time putting my academic worth into a small packet to be read by a stranger. I know I'm good at what I do. I know I haven't gotten any grants, but I know the inner-workings of the grant process and I know I am capable of getting money. I also know that I am an amazing teacher.

I've been working long, long hours. I sub during the day for the kiddies in public school. At night, I have been working 3 hours to teach ESL to adults. I love it. But it's not my classroom because I am just a sub. Recently, the job has opened up and I've applied. I am excited, but nervous. I have so many changes I would like to make given the opportunity.

Holiday knitting is stressful! I started in October. I thought it was early enough. I think it would have been had Aunt Carol's present gone more smoothly. It's still in trouble. Grandma's went swimmingly well, Kim's had to be frogged once but is mostly better, Mom's is finished - but I'd love to cast on for something else, Dad's is cast-on...and I still have to cast-on one more thing for Kim...but I got the wrong yarn! I figure, if it's not x-mas when these things are received, it will be ok.

Well, I'm down to 160. That's 46 pounds gone. 46 pounds. How the hell did I ever gain 46 pounds? If you really put it in perspective, I have gone from 46% body fat to 23% body fat. That is 94 pounds of fat on my body to 37 pounds of fat on my body. My waist went from 46 inches (I know, 46 is every where - it's easy to remember!) to 35 inches. My hips and waist are now in a healthy ratio. I feel great. I am not where I want to be quite yet, but I am getting there.

Excitement for the holidays is building! I have wishlists set up everywhere. And I just got my first interchangeable needle set from Knit Picks. I'm slightly nervous about the holiday eating and lack of exercise during the winter. But, I have faith that I can keep all that in check.